If you had asked me two years ago what I thought about meditation, you would have got a scoff, a sniff and even perhaps an eyeball roll.
I had had some experience of trying it before but I often came out wondering what visualising, body scanning and breathing actually did for me (other than the obvious!!).
What I hadn’t appreciated was the calm I often felt during and after doing it. Me thinks now my head was probably just buzzing a bit much for me to see the wood for the trees!! Continue reading Meditating like a mad woman!
After ditching cardio for 3 weeks to try to allow this body to calm down (with mixed and not very successful results I have to say), I resolved to do SOMETHING. After all the pain my bloody leg muscles went through in Sept and Oct when I restarted exercise I can’t put myself in a position where I have to go through that again. Continue reading Bite sized cardio
Fuck. It. Here goes.
I’ve been sitting, pondering about officially launching this blog for months. A contact of mine said “dude, press go, what have you got to lose?” The truth is very little. I’ve been holding off going public with reams of diary entries I have written over the last 6 months worrying about how this will affect the work I’ve been doing and thinking by some miracle my condition will pass. Maybe it still will. I didn’t want to look like a fraud (you know I might roll over one day and be restored back to the manufacturer’s settings??) but realistically I’ve been fooling myself thinking, at this point, that I can resume a “normal” working life. Whatever that is anymore. Dream on. My work has been suffering anyway. In fact I’m having to completely rethink it.
What is it with tourists?
As I was cycling along today (which I am meant to do everyday – hmm subject of another post) the inevitable happened. A nice looking couple, obviously from my home country England, judging by the accents, decided to ask me for directions to the beach. Me – who obviously just looks like I’m out for a morning meander on my cruiser bike rather than the huffing, puffing lard arse that I was feeling. Continue reading The perpetual cyclist
My wham bam health issues appeared in November 2014. However, looking back, before my ‘tsunami’ of symptoms hit, a slow trickle of odd symptoms had appeared. I’d been under quite a bit of stress from a job for a period of 6 months and I had a few odd, isolated bodily symptoms occur (which I can now recognise as the early warning signs). I had weird aches in my hands, I was thirstier than normal, I was wired and tired, I got the shakes when under pressure and I started getting weird nightmares on top of insomnia (Dennis the Menace flying spider kind of nightmares). I then experienced the ‘oh god I feel shit I must be unfit’ after pilates (come on?) and I had my first proper almighty so-called panic attack (an ambulance job). But many of these were simply explained away as stress related reactions.
Then I sealed my fate by visiting some hot springs for the day in late November 2014. Continue reading The poo truck
Yup you guessed it, another adrenaline attack. God it’s a pain in the neck. My meds were changed 3 weeks ago because of adrenaline issues, I had reduced my meetings and the intensity of my exercise program and was doing really well.
Then I changed something. Moved my usual morning exercise to the evening last night, evidently when the impact of my glory wonder drugs were at their lowest, and had a sleep from hell. Continue reading Supercharged out of my head