Stop and discover some new dreams

One of the best things by far that has come out of my enforced simpler existence has been to re-experience stuff.

Stuff I had forgotten about or stuff I’ve discovered that’s completely new.

Finding out I had a chronic illness has meant a complete rewrite of me and the discovery of some new dreams. 

I’ve had to let go of some pretty big stuff, the big one being my ambition and the drive I had in relation to my work.  My body just cannot sustain the level of effort that work requires of me anymore.  So work has now been relegated to a second place position.  I still do a bit to keep my hand in but I try to balance it to ensure my adrenaline, blood pressure and fatigue levels all remain in check (with some mixed results).

Stop and discover some new dreams for yourself. Click To Tweet

Putting work to metaphorical bed has enabled me to experiment!

She says with a tinge of excitement.  It has opened me up to rediscover some things about myself and what I like doing and, really, to see where it leads.  So here’s a little bit on where I am at the moment…

Writing has been a MAJOR discovery for me.  By career, I’m a change management consultant so writing communications has always been a part of that.  But what I hadn’t appreciated was I actually quite like writing about myself and what I’m learning about.  I never thought in a million years I would enjoy doing that and putting myself out there.  But with the appearance of this condition and the need to engage through other gentler means, I am now writing and doing better than I thought at it.

Writing has very much become my new passion in life.

I reach out to others, provide advice, connection, support or just a bit of laughter to help them get through their day.  That’s my aim.

Writing is also very cathartic for me.  It gives me a sense of peace and calm.

And all from the comfort of my arm chair or bed!

I write pretty much horizontally most of the time on my phone. I use a small tablet phone that I bought two years ago before I got sick – somewhere in my psyche I reckon my body knew where I was headed!!  I literally write flat out –  ergonomically speaking.  I am writing this post in bed having woken early on a Sunday morning.

Who knows where all this writing will lead me.  I’m following my instincts.  It feels good, it feels right, so I’ll keep following it and see where it takes me.

The associated stuff with writing and creating my blog has been social media and IT.

OMG what a baptism of fire!

I think I must have been hiding under a rock all my life because there is so much to learn.  How to engage?  How to increase your reach?  The multiple platforms.  Where to even start?  How to stop getting hacked! Most recent learning that one.

I started with Facebook and am now on Twitter, Pinterest and Medium.  Complete novice at the moment but continuing to experiment.  I will persist and hopefully find my way and ideally without spending a cent on advertising (let’s see how we go there shall we?).

The only danger with social media is it’s a bit like work – addictive!  I always said I would never be a slave to it and avoided joining too many social platforms over my life.   But with my enforced state of isolation now it helps me to ‘get out’ – albeit differently!  I just have to balance how much time I engage with it to not provoke the adrenaline and the maniacal wind up toy.  The job is never done, so that’s something I have to watch.

Then there’s….. knitting!

Sorry what did you say?  Weren’t expecting that were you?  Complete u turn and change of tempo right here right now.  Other planet here we come.  Yes, that’s right – knitting!

But not your conventional style of knitting.  Aha see you knew there would be a twist didn’t you!  My discovery has been BIG knitting with these big, lethal looking buggers:

bigbuggers

Back in the mists of time, I used to be quite creative – Mum still has the pottery attempts to prove it.  I also did a bit of knitting, crochet and ended up being quite the dressmaker (thanks to my creative Grandmother).

I haven’t been able to ressurect the dressmaking since it’s too upright for me and doesn’t bode well with the blood pressure issues but anything done on a couch (with my legs up) works a treat.

Can you see my new lifestyle theme here?  Horizontal features highly!!

And I have my little boy to thank for reigniting my interest in all things yarn related.  See, he asked me to knit him a beanie!  And so I did!

Because of my finger joint issues, I did this using the biggest crochet needle I could find, researched ‘how to crochet’ on ‘you tube’ and, from there, the fire was lit!  I made a beanie for him, then one for his sister, then my niece and then my other niece.  Before I knew it I was crocheting like a maniac!

Then an arty friend of mine gave me the ‘piece de resistance’, the big ‘kahuna’ of knitting needles and voila a fireball was born!!  So having acquainted myself with my local craft/haberdashery shop I am now currently knitting throws with cotton spaghetti yarn.  Here’s where I’m at:

throw2

I have no idea where all this new creative stuff will take me.  It’s all a bit all over the place frankly – a bit here, there and everywhere.  But that I think is where the magic will happen, I am just following my nose and the fun of where it may go.

Having the time to experiment has been quite enlightening.

Whilst getting sick was the most shittiest thing that has ever happened to me and still challenges me everyday, I can thank my health condition for opening my eyes to a whole world of stuff I probably would never have even touched!  If my condition hadn’t shown its face, I would never have (re)discovered that creative fire in my belly.  It would have been under lock and key until perhaps retirement and by then perhaps too late to really do something with it.

Having the time to experiment has been quite enlightening. Click To Tweet

I never thought I’d be saying thanks to this health condition, but there you have it! So thank you wonky body for making me stop and discover some stuff I never really knew about myself (or had simply forgotten) and thank you for making me stop and discover some new dreams for myself.

I look forward to keeping you updated with where it all leads….


If you like what you read, please scroll to the top of the page to join my mailing list.  You get a subscriber-only 'Lessons from a Manic' article plus monthly updates on my posts and articles I write for Thrive Global.  I look forward to staying in touch. Jayne x

 

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *